


What Would You Do (If I told you I loved you)?

by SpeckledCoffeeCups



Series: If I Said I loved you [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Polyamory, Trans John, Trans Male Character, Underage Drinking, Why the hell did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:16:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpeckledCoffeeCups/pseuds/SpeckledCoffeeCups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas wanted what Alex had.  Specifically Johh, Hercules, and Lafayette.  He wanted a relationship like that. So he goes for it. </p><p>Title from La La by The Cab</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Would You Do (If I told you I loved you)?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I'm not sure why I did this, but I like it. I'll probably make it a series TBH because I'm trash.

Thomas Jefferson was an ass.  He also had a very nice one. 

That was the first thought as Alex watched him strut through the doors to his and his 3 significant other’s apartment.

“Uh… hi?” He says and throws a nervous glance back towards the bed room.  He knows John and Lafayette are in there doing _things._

“Hamilton I need your help.” Jefferson starts keeping his eyes trained on the floor as he paces. His clothing suggests he just came from Mock Trial practice. 

“Okay, but why me?” Alex asks leaning his ass against the back of the couch.  Hercules steps from the bedroom with a smirk and lick of his lips.

“God, Alex you need to go see that- Jefferson.  Why are you here?” the end of his sentence is punctuated by a high moan from John.  Jefferson blushes and pulls his hands to the front of his body.

“I needed to talk to Hamil- Alexander.”

“Oh so first name basis now?” Alex quips with a raise of his eyebrow.

“I’m coming to you for help.  Now if you could push your pride and smart ass attitude to the side for fifteen minutes that would be awesome.” Jefferson snaps.  Herc’s eyes narrow and he glances towards Alex. Alex waves him off.  He can handle Jefferson.

“Fine.  You have fifteen minutes.  What do you need?” He asks crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

Jefferson continues to pace worrying his lip.  Alex clears his throat and Jefferson takes a deep breath.

“Any chance all of you could be available?” He asks slowly. Alex looks towards the bedroom door.  He knows Laf can never last much longer after John reaches his high.

“Let me check.” He says carding his hand through his hair.  He pushes himself off the back of the couch and struts towards the bedroom. He pushes the door open and smiles at the scene.

Lafayette mumbles against John’s skin, pressing kisses to the curve of his waist. John giggles and pushes at Lafayette while pulling his fingers through the frenchmans hair. 

“Hey,” Alex interjects softly. He knows how much one on one time is good, for all of them. John looks over lazily and smiles, motioning Alex over. Alex can’t resist. He loves his John. He presses a soft kiss to his swollen lips and John laughs tiredly against Alex’s mouth.

“What’s up?”

Alex chuckles and lays his forehead on John’s. “Well. Jefferson is here and for some reason wants to talk to all of us.” Lafayette groans loudly before grumbling in French. They throw the covers off their waist and stands, their limp member prevalent.  John grumbles as well, but makes less of a show.  Laf places their hands on their hips and grabs their discarded clothes from the floor and pulls them back on.  John quietly grabs his binder from the floor and tugs it down over his chest. Once its tugged down Alex presses a longing kiss to his forehead.

“I love you.” He says and John smiles with closed lips.  Alex hands him the briefs he was wearing before Lafayette tore them off his body.  John rolls his eyes when Alex waggles his eyebrows. 

“Please Alexander.  You’re just jealous you weren’t involved with the whole ordeal.” He says tugging the briefs over the swell of his ass. John smirks and reaches for Alex, kissing him slowly and palming his crotch.

“Alexander and John Laurens. Get out here you horny bastards!” Hercules shouts followed by laughter.  Lafayette must have left the room by now.

“Shut up you’re just jealous!” John calls tugging on sweat pants.  He debates about a shirt for a moment. Alex knows that face too well and kisses his temple.

“If you don’t want to don’t. We don’t care.” He says softly against Johns skin.  He nods and stands straight dropping the shirt to the floor.  He grabs Alex’s hand and pulls him towards the door. They exit hand in hand, and Alex curls his arm around John’s waist, fingers playing at the edge of John’s binder. He squirms away from Alex, but Alex laughs and tugs him close to him, kissing his shoulder.  He loves placing random kisses on John’s body.  On his freckles, hip bones, waist.  Everywhere.

“Alexander.” Jefferson says trying to catch the shorter mans attention.  Alex sighs and jumps over the back of the couch, wedging his ass into the space between Lafayette and Mulligan.  John sits next to Alex, his arms crossing and uncrossing uncomfortably in front on his chest. 

“So.” Alex starts and Jefferson twiddles his fingers. 

“So.” He replies.  Alex sighs already feeling the tension build.

“I don’t have all day Jefferson.” He replies dryly. None of his significant others are surprised at his tone of voice.  After three years of having to deal with the bickering they are surprised they haven’t had a fist fight before.

“Well this isn’t exactly easy Hamilton.” He spits Alex’s name out like a curse. Alex rolls his eyes.

“Don’t come to me for sympathy Jefferson.  Your life is a walk in the park compared to mine. Oh daddy forgot to send the chauffer to the airport and now I have to catch a taxi like a normal person. Oh mommy is well and alive and your father doesn’t only talk to you when he needs money.  Poor you.”

Jefferson narrows his eyes at Alexander.

“Oh. Poor Alex.  I have not only one person but three people who love me unconditionally.  Everyone adores me, and you’re Washington’s favorite. Your foster family is amazing, and you live off campus on the best side of town. But life is so hard.”

Alex glares back, feeling his stomach twist. He hasn’t had it easy but he’d rather burn in hell than let Jefferson of all people talk down to him.

“Your point?”

“Exactly that. You three have everything together-“ John scoffs. “What?”

“My dad kicked me out, cut off funding and the only reason I can afford T is because of a fund my mom set up for me before she died. Lafayette can’t afford to go back to France over break because tuition sky rocketed, Hercules is struggling to finish his assignments and find time for us, and Alex still has panic and anxiety attacks from freshman year.  Don’t tell us we have it together.  We have each other that’s it.”

John doesn’t talk like that.  Ever.  Alex curls his hand around John’s and squeezes.  He swallows before talking.

“John’s right.  We don’t have it together, we have each other.” He says.  Hercules nods and speaks up.

“But you didn’t come here to tell us that we have our life together. What’s up Thomas?” He asks running his knuckles over John’s arm raising gooseflesh as Alex grabs a bottle of water from Laf’s hands. Thomas swallows.

“I want that.” He says softly. “I want what you four have… specifically you four.” Alex chokes on his water, and John beats his back watching his boyfriend coke.

“You what?” Alex shouts, eyes huge, hands shaky.  “You want.  Us.  All four of us.” He says and Thomas nods slowly before sighing and standing up.

“Sorry this was stupid.  I’ll leave.” He grumbles grabbing his blazer he threw over the back of his chair. Alex watches him stand and shakes his head as he leans forward on his knees.

“Mon cher, come back.” Lafayette says standing.  Everyone looks to them.  Mon cher, my dear.  They never use the phrase with people outside of their relationship unless its patronizing. This wasn’t patronizing.

“Thank you Gilbert, but-“

“No come back Thomas.  Alex was surprised that’s all.” He says moving towards Jefferson while throwing a glance back to Alex.

“It’s stupid.  I don’t know why I bothered to come here I knew he would react that way.  He’s always hated me!” Jefferson snaps and Alex stands.

“Only because you constantly have to oppose me!”

“You never let me finish a sentence-“

“You disagree with me, insult me, and my family, or lack thereof.” Alex snaps setting his water bottle on the table roughly their voices raising in volume with each sentence.

“I do not!  I understand having a missing father!  The last time I talked to my father was three years ago.  My mother is in France acting as Ambassador and I haven’t seen her in a year. Don’t turn this into a poor Hamilton speech.” He shouts.  Hercules places his hand on Alex’s arm, praying this doesn’t escalate beyond verbal attacks. 

“Oh poor you! At least you have a family! My father left us with nothing except a few cans of food and my mother died holding me!  My cousin beat the shit out of me daily!  Don’t act like you have it worse!”

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Jefferson says quietly.

“Don’t quote Hemmingway at me.” Alex snaps loudly, moving towards Jefferson.

“Alexander.” Lafayette says cautiously.  No one interferes.  They know better than to step in.

“You had a family that loved you. Be grateful.”

“You haven’t had to worry a day of your life.”

“I wish I had.”

“You don’t.” Alex says surprisingly softly. His eyes glaze over as he’s thinking back to the time before he moved to America.  “Don’t wish for that.  Every day waking up and not knowing if you will have enough to eat for the week, praying to God that the next storm kills you and when it doesn’t asking why.  You don’t want that. You don’t want to have to beg for food, money, clothes.” Alex is close to tears.  He doesn’t talk about St. Croix, it’s just not something that happens.

“Alexander.  I wish I knew the troubles of a poorer life so I would be able to appreciate what I have now.  Nothing I have has been earned, just given.” Jefferson reaches to touch him, and Alex shies away. 

“Don’t.” He says and steps back, into Lafayette’s waiting arms. 

“I’m sorry.” Jefferson breathes and leans against the door.  “I’m sorry I’m like this, and bicker and fight until everyone is gone.” He whispers.  John stands and slides over the back of the couch.

“Jef- Thomas.” He catches Thomas’s eye. “What… how would you feel about me being transgender.  And love.” He knows it’s bold.  But he knows this will be a topic later.

“I… I don’t mind. You’re a wonderful person John.  I couldn’t dislike you for something as simple as gender.” John’s heart swells.  He never knew Thomas was on his side. 

“I’m okay with it.” He says. Hercules looks at John confused.

“What?” He asks.

“I’m okay. With letting Thomas explore a relationship with us.” He says softly and pushes his hair off his face.

“John!” Alex shouts surprised and embarrassed.  John knows he can’t stand Jefferson, and to openly say he’s fine with Jefferson into their relationship.  He can’t. 

“He’s not transphobic! He’s actually sorry for once in his life and you don’t think he at least deserves a chance to see what this” he motions to the four of them. “is?” John sighs and rubs a hand across his soft stomach.

“You know you were the deciding factor John!  You know you always are!  You decided when Herc came into the relationship but you want Jefferson now too?”

“Not like that! I’m saying give him a chance, please Alex we have class together and he’s a good person when he’s not bickering with you constantly.” John states it pointedly towards Alex. 

Alex pulls his fingers through his hair rapidly trying to calm his mind and also sort through everything as it passes through his brain.

“I need a minute.” He says and shoves out of Lafayette’s arms, and past Jefferson. 

Alex doesn’t come back that night.

Jefferson leaves shortly after Alex does and they don’t hear from him again until Tuesday afternoon. At that point Alex returned and sat and listened to what the others had to say.  And now it was up to him.  Being completely honest he felt cheated.  They know he hates Jefferson, or at least he thought he did.  He thought about how it would feel to have him pressed against him in the morning, sharing domestic kisses while cooking, stealing clothes. 

The fuzzy feeling it left in his stomach made him sick, but he wasn’t opposed.  That night they call him over. 

When he opens the door, the four of them acknowledge him, even Hamilton. 

“Come have some pizza.” John says and plops a piece of pineapple on his tongue. Alex shudders.

“I may love you John, but you have shitty taste in pizza.” Alex says biting into his plain slice.

Jefferson grabs the pineapple slice and bites into it.

“I like pineapple on pizza.” He says and John smiles.

“God damn it.” Alex grumbles before taking a deep breath.  “But, yeah we invited you over for a reason.” He says and looks to Herc across the table as he drinks a beer.  Herc nods, encouraging him to continue. “We all discussed it and agreed it wouldn’t be a bad idea to invite you into a union with us if you were still inclined to join.” He says stumbling over the last portion.  Lafayette laughs pressing a kiss to Alex’s hair.

“Mon cher, what Alex means to say is we’d be willing to date you.  There are some things you should know though.” He says and winks a perfectly winged eye at him.

“Such as?” Jefferson asks wiping the grease from his shaky hands on a paper towel.

“If you enter into this, that means you date all of us.  Not just Laf or Herc or any combination of the four of us.  All of us.  And we all would date you as well.” John explains knocking knees with Thomas.

“Also,” Alex says speaking up.  His eyes water and he breathes deep to bring his emotions down. “We,” Laf nudges his shoulder. “Okay, me.  I… I don’t do well with anxiety still.  All I ask is anything that happens between us stays between us.” He says quietly. 

Jefferson never thought he’d see the day where Hamilton was searching for words, twisting his fingers together trying to keep his nerves down.  Jefferson nods and closes his eyes.

“Of course. And I ask the same of you.” Thomas says.  Alex nods and looks around the table. 

“So… I guess welcome to… us.” He says nerves rattling his voice.  John pulls Alex close and squeezes his torso. 

Thomas catches a few words, “so proud of you.” Alex presses his face to John’s neck. John giggles as Alex’s facial hair tickles his neck. Jefferson scans the table. It’s different but he thinks he’ll like it.

The constant companion ship, the constant love, always having someone there to talk to. And its four people instead of one.  He doesn’t know what he signed up for but he’s okay for it.  Hercules burps loudly and Laf crinkles their nose while John and Alex laugh.

“Do you have any more beer in the fridge?” Alex asks standing and tugging John with him. After a moment he meets Jefferson’s eyes and cocks his head to invite him to the fridge as well.

“Not enough for all of us.  But I think there’s champagne in the cupboard.” Hercules calls.  He watches as Alex scrambles onto the counters to reach the top shelf.

“Alex,” John chides crossing his arms.

“I’ll be fine.” He says and hands down the champagne, along with five glasses.

“You do drink champagne right?” Alex says turning and sliding off the counter.

“Me? Yeah,” Jefferson says holding onto the glasses. Alex watches him for a moment and Jefferson can see the worry in his body.  His stance is rigid and hands clenched tightly around a glass.  He wants to apologize for everything, but at the same time he knows that’s not appropriate.  Not yet.

Soon.  Soon he can let Alex know how sorry he is for the past three years and how he plans to make it up to him in the coming weeks, months, year.  Years. 

He likes that.  Years with the four of them.  Now five.  He likes it.  A lot.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at Weehawken-dawngunsdrawn  
> EDIT: this is going to be a series! Subscribe the series if you want updates!


End file.
